Invictus

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Invictus is Latin for unconquerable, undefeated. And it was the same poem that Nelson Mandela held on while he was in prison.

Yup. Caught the movie at home. And the same question I raise was also mentioned in the movie: how can anybody who got imprisoned for 27 years come out of the small cell ready to forgive those who threw him in?

I am sure that the movie was very much sensationalised. Some parts seemed to be out of place too. In all, it was a highly inspirational. I am not sure how far South Africa has gone since the seasonal high in 1995 after beating the All Blacks in their game? Did rugby really unify the country and rewrote history? Maybe I have been too indifferent since I am in this part of the world. I was too young to be too taunted by apartheid then when I was in college.

In the early 1990s, I was in the wave of craze over rugby. I played the game in army and went on to play for the hall while in university. It was quite hard to sustain because I needed a team to play. The moment I left the hostel in pursuit of the degree proper, the exposure got even lesser. But I vaguely remembered that when All Blacks lost that year, I was bemoaning because I was in awe of Jonah Lomu. The man that dominated the field during that time. Big, strong, powerful and fast.

Just what is so inspirational about the movie? The need to have a focus and its amazing power that summons the human spirit to unify at will, and as the King of Pop Michael Jackson sang, "It doesnt matter if you are Black or White." It reminded me of the YOG lukewarm support. Just what will it take to unify Singaporeans? Yes, that's me included. I am not pointing fingers at others, I am pretty much to be blamed as well.

As a young parent, I was taught never to dangle carrots for my kids to study, to do housework, etc. Dangling a carrot is an extrinsic motivation and this will not be ingrained into the character. We should encourage intrinsic motivation instead. So by paying the athletes for every medal they get, has not the focus moved from glory to country of representation, to monetary gains? Tang Howe Liang, our own silver medalist for weight lifting at the 1960 Olympics, I am sure did not have any monetary gains then. So what was his motivation?

The guiding principle for us to do what is right should not be governed by the fears of being fined - ala local campaigns - but to do what is right.

I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

What is our motivation in our lives?

***

Did a short 8km run on Thursday evening. Shocked myself that I covered the 1st 4km at pace of 5:03/km and averaged the whole distance at 4:59/km. Was deliberately slowing down too because I told myself not to overstrain and not be able to train for the next few days. I think I could have gone on for a bit further with proper hydration and carb without fatiguing. So that is really nice to know that I have gotten myself to this stage. Also did some bike trainer sets at home later that night. One legged cycling was part of the menu. I must say that was a toughie!

Friday I missed the long distance swim because I was at work till late. Decided to spend some time with the kids at home instead thereafter. A good break!

Today's session saw me through 130km bike and 15km run. I had just put on new cassette for my training wheels. Used to riding 12-25 but now the spanking new 11-23 was energy sapping. Not sure if it was the cassette change. Maybe it was, maybe it wasnt? But legs sure felt the difference. Went on to the run and the HR shot up really high. Which might just be expected. This has been happening very often, especially during races. And somehow, I am not surprised any more. So I tried to keep it down for quite a fair bit of the run. At every slight surge, it would shoot up again. It was highly sensitive. Still I completed the 15km in 1.5hours. That made a pace of 6:00/km thereabouts? Pretty decent considering that I did not think I carbed up too well for the run. A mistake, yet again.

Tomorrow is a 32km run - 5x6km sets with 500m walk in between. Not sure if my legs will recover in time. They just will have to coz the run will start soon...