Was it not only yesterday that I excitedly counted down to next weekend's race in exotic Japan? Was it not only yesterday that I reflected on how my training started and coming up to this taper?
I am not a professional ironman triathlete, no doubt. That my livelihood is not affected by this cancellation. What I am looking at is the hours that I have put in since 10 January 2010, how much my family had sacrificed for me to attend the race. And all these came crashing down on me with an email from M Dot Japan Office, that they were "disappointed" to inform me that race has been cancelled. It was a valid reason of course, that the agricultural livestock can be affected by the Foot-and-Mouth disease in the Miyazaki region (I have no idea where that is, and really, I cant be bothered to find out as of now but I suppose is near Fukuoka?)
The positive outcomes from my ironman journey to date, with or without this race in Japan, is the heightened fitness and grit, the new friends I have made along the way, people who will truly understand what it takes to face the ironman challenge, as well as appreciate life better. Well, seriously, how can anybody complete an ironman and not think that life is "more to it than meets the eye"?
Yes, I am still sore that on record, I have only done ONE ironman. And that it will take me longer than I think to complete my original target of 5. And it is now become even more infuriating that my job does not allow me to sign up for other ironman races in the calender besides Japan and Western Australia.
For one, I have temporarily lost my focus. I still have training programme planned out for this week and next. Do I continue with it? Or do I look for a race in Europe with k226? Racing in Europe is expensive because of the air ticket costs. I think I am peaking for the race in terms of my fitness and it will be just right and in time for next weekend. I know my swim has improved slightly, my bike has gone on pretty well and running? This is the discipline that I think I have made the most improvement in and I am most pleased with. However, the reality is, there is no race to go for... How can I sustain this training programme for another 5 months? Its funny? Its like getting dumped in a relationship? Ha! This is how much emotions have gone into my preparation.
I was offered a slot for last Saturday's Sundown Marathon. If this piece of news had come earlier, I would have taken it up - am curious how fast I can go on a marathon now. I missed out on the run because of IMJ - did not want to trash my legs during my tapering week. Dammit, IMJ is my "A" race for this year! I would not even consider WA as "A" race because I have gone through the course before and I know it is not suppose to be that difficult a race unless time and PB are taken into consideration.
The disappointment is really really great. And I suppose I cant expect people, not even my family, to truly empathise with me. Now I can truly understand how Enrico must have felt, to have gone into IMNZ this year knowing full well that he would not be able to perform at his best because of the road accident.
Hopefully, soon, life will resume...
Life is half spent before we know what it is. George Herbert, 1593 - 1633
Mate,
ReplyDeleteI am not in a position to say i understand your feelings right now.
The Ironman is a journey, a process of self discovery. Training forms 99% of it, racing completes it. I agree on the incompleteness but to the rest of us, you have already conqured the race.
Sometimes life is as such, we dun always get what we want. Managing imperfections are more challenging than achieving perfections.
Just another 1 Ironman Finisher.
Thanks for the kind words, Matt. But to me, I have yet to complete the race, so that in itself is incomplete still. I am still 1 IM finisher. By end of year, perhaps will be my 2nd one though. :)
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