Hotstuff Hot Event Issue 62 (May 2007)

VOLVO WARS

Think track racing and the likes of Exige, Carreras and 911s come to mind, with their immaculate cornering ability at insane speeds exceeding 150km/h. Not forgetting the highly modified Civics and Skylines, with their exhaust the size of an anti-tank weapon, sounding off their presence a mile away, as well as the air scoop that was ever ready to feed the huge snail-like forced induction piece of art. If not for the regulations by our local LTA and TP, the streets will be lighted by little 4-wheeled mobile discos as well.

Think ‘tow-kay’ (Hokkien for ‘businessmen’) cars and the stately images of the Mercs, Camrys and Volvos are envisioned. Tracking such cars is unthinkable and brings shock to any of the fervent die-hard trackkies. Picturing senior executives dashing through a 90 degree corner at break neck speed is synonymous to getting Gordon Ramsay to stop using the F-word.

Volvos have been around for a long time. Since 1927 to be exact. I remember them to be the huge straight-lined armoured vehicles that plough the streets of Singapore. Two decades ago, we saw models of 240s, 740s and gradually 940 and 960, before evolving to the current S40s, S60s and S80s. We recognised that this ‘tank’ ability made the cars very safe to the passengers in it, in the event of an accident, prior the advancement to Side-Impact Protection System (SIPS) and airbags.

On the bright and sunny 23^rd February 2008, the princely cars that exceed the legitimate weight limit of many of the multi-storey carparks in Singapore, took on the infamous Formua 1 tracks at Sepang. Aghast? Well, you are not alone! Who would have expected these 2-Exiges equivalent ‘tanks’ to go fast, let alone take on the many bends and straights? I am sure I overheard the mentors from Traction Circle Club (TCC) murmuring among themselves, “These tanks will damage the tarmac with their belt tracks! Perhaps we should ban them?...”

Of course, in the eventuality, 27 Volvos made it. The convoy up north in itself was a sight! Dancing and sashaying through the traffic of the North-South Highway was like an ice-skater cutting through the rink, with so much grace and daintiness that we forget the manliness of the rides. Perhaps, the on-looking drivers would have thought that the two countries were at war – with so many Singapore ‘tanks’!

Upon reaching the track, we were greeted by the boasting of straight-through exhaust rumbles, as well as the turbo boosts from induction cars, reminding us grimly that we are in the wrong place. But despite the ego badgering salute, we put on brave fronts, refuse to be defeated by the strange stares and murmurs accompanied by fingers pointing.

During the safety briefing, upon realising that it was not only the club’s first tracking experience, but also every driver’s virgin trip on the speed tarmac, the smiles on the safety officers’ faces slowly drained away, taking away the blood from their faces as well. In the whiteness and expressionless faces, we saw fear and heard the raging panic alarm bells ringing in their heads, and simultaneously, flipping the imaginary safety code manual and frantically trying to remember each and every procedure in times of emergency.

The drivers all had but 1 lesson learnt – that there are so many tricks that there is no way we can process all of it while driving. Following the mentor’s line during the orientation leg was by far easier than we thought. But the moment we were left to fend for ourselves, the line disappeared and fighting each turn with the wheel was a mind-blowing experience. While the track screamed ‘SLOW DOWN!’, the cars were still hurtling through the bend and the eventuality of beaching the car on the pebble strewn run-offs became inevitable. The hurt ego screamed through the helmets and shouted at the whole world: ‘WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!’ Sheepishly, engaging the first gear and the car was out of the beach and on emerged on the runway again. All forgotten, till the next landing.

All in all, the tracking experience was a refreshing experience for all of us. And we understood the need to allow fast cars in the safe realm of the track – to keep the speed demons away from the streets and keep the other road users safe.

The Volvo enthusiasts club has gone against all odds, defied all common sense and logic, and completed the 3 hour track session at Sepang, emerging victorious and able to heave a sigh of relief. With this, we bring bad news to the track fanatics: Volvos will be back!

And to all who drive stately cars, we have the message for you: If Volvos can track, so can you!