Of Marriages and Divorces

What is it with cheating spouses? Notice, I did not specify the gender. I have friends who had friends who had their wives cheating on them. Look, the world has changed. It is no longer just the men cheating on their wives any more. And it was not just an isolated case of wife cheating on the husband, it is like 5 that I know of? Friend had 4 other buddies who were divorced after a short tinge of marriage, in the region of 1 year? He had to accompany his buddy to mediate with the third party. Another recent incident that I know of, father of 2 in his early 40s, left the family to be with a 30 year old colleague.

Of course, the recent spade of Jack Neo, our local famed director, had his fair share of media attention with his affair with a 22 year old model. Just before Jack Neo, was Tiger Woods, the world renown golfer, having several flings over several continents that he played in.

Just what has gone wrong with the world today? Is morality no longer the "in" thing? It is not longer "cool" to practice monogamous relationships when married? Is this the portrayal of the media that has influenced and reshaped our mind sets, that divorce is an acceptable outcome in a marriage?

Lust is a very powerful notion. And the Bible does warn us of the evils of it. BUT lust is a notion of the mind, a concoction in the boiling cauldron, vis-a-vis the 3 witches in Macbeth, "Double double, toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble..." And like Macbeth, if we allow it to consume our minds, other factors that hold us back initially will all take the backstage and be forgotten.

Perhaps the stress of life also plays a part in the fast pace life that we live in? That there is a need to relief the overflowing pressures that exists in our lives - work, family, financial well being - are all very real. Something has to give somehow.

As I embarked on this Ironman journey, I realised that it is a time consuming process. Everyday, there is a training regime. Its either 1.5-2hrs in the pool, or 2-3hrs of running, or 4-8hrs of biking. What gives way for me? Sometimes it is work, sometimes it is family time. There is no other way to squeeze out the time from the 24hours that I have in a day. It is about a choice. Life is not just about making decisions, but choices as well.

Same goes for marriages. It is a choice of whether we want to succumb to lust - because we have the means - or we choose to stay faithful - till death do us part. Sometimes, words are just words and vows are simply just that. It is treated with scant respect and the consequences of not meaning what we say is in divorce.